Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Free Write on hypertrophy and atrophy, dedicated to Nietzsche, by Kate M.

Not enough of everything but too much of one thing...-- Nietzsche said nearly those exact words.

I remember you once said
happiness needs to be regulated too
not just pain, or fear, or anger
To ease the dis-comfort of these emotions seems natural
but to ease the discomfort of happiness
that hadn't occurred to me before

Do you want to know how I cross the divide?
despite...

I'm convinced that-
or maybe convinced isn't the right word
maybe I actually just know that
I can tolerate so much a certain breed of suffering, and
so little of another
especially
how do I say it

I wouldn't know that I am full of bones if I didn't keep breaking them
or blood, or guts
or thoughts if I didn't figure out a way to tell you them
that's the thing

--I want to learn how to tolerate happiness--

I've certainly got too much of something
something superfluous
maybe it's like a stray cat
I feed it, though I don't actually want it around

Or like in Beloved
the baby gets so fat
while the mother atrophies
this
the most frightening metaphor of all





 



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